"So then I said, 'don't forget the coffee!'" Tony Piccolo finished, barely understandable through his laughter. There was a chorus of groaning and a few variations of "shut up, Tony" from the other occupants of the table. Well, most of the other occupants, anyway. Lucas Wolenczak didn't say a word, simply stared at his tray, pushing meat-and-vegtable-products around with his fork."Hey, what's up with you, Kid?" Jim Brody asked, noticing Lucas' silence. Usually when Tony felt the urge to tell a dirty joke, Lucas was always there, informing Tony that he had told it wrong, and then proceeding to tell the joke the right way. Where Lucas had learned all these digustingly vulgar jokes, no-one was quite sure. And most didn't really want to know.
Lucas scowled at his tray. "Dr. Smith," he muttered angrily. "Wants to re-do my psych. evaluation today. Said we were both too distracted when she did it before or some crappy explanation like that." Lucas stabbed at the food with his fork repeatedly, trying to keep his anger and nervousness in check.
"Yeah, so?" Brody asked. Sure, he wasn't too keen on all this "talk therapy" stuff that Wendy practiced, but it wasn't as painful as he had thought it was going to be. Besides, when they had been waiting with Ford last week, Lucas had seemed more relaxed than anyone. What did the kid have to hide? Brody had to admit, he didn't know Lucas all that well, but he seemed like a perfectly normal kid.
"Lucas doesn't like people asking questions," Miguel Ortiz offered around a mouthful of mashed potatoes.
"That's not it," Lucas responded defensively, not looking up. Unfortunately, he couldn't protest much more, because Miguel had been right on in his observation. Lucas wouldn't be able to say more without blatently lying. Sure, he really did hate people asking questions, but there was more to it. And that more to it was something Lucas didn't like talking about, thinking about, or acknowledging.
"Then what is it?" Brody asked, partially out of curiosity, and partially to annoy the teenager.
"None of your damn business," Lucas snapped, looking up at the lieutenant, with firey blue eyes reflecting his anger. "I gotta go," he added, standing up quickly, making as much noise with the chair as possible and stalking out, tossing the uneaten food in the trash as he walked out the door.
"What the hell was that about?" Brody asked Tony, Miguel, and Tim. Miguel and Tony shrugged, but Tim looked down at the table, trying to avoid eye contact. They'd assume Tim knew more about Lucas than anyone - which was true - and then they'd try to pry some answers out of him - which Tim knew would not go over well with Lucas.
"Who knows?" Tim finally said, figuring that maybe feigned ignorance was best in this situation. He knew Lucas didn't want his secrets spread around the entire boat, and telling Brody, Miguel, and Tony would most assuredly be the way to spread things like wildfire.
"So glad you could make it, Lucas," Wendy Smith said sardonically as Lucas stalked into her office. "And only an hour late. Will wonders never cease?" As the words left her mouth, Wendy had to stifle a gasp. It wasn't often she was able to probe people without trying, and those times the person she was reading was in emotional overload. From what she was picking up from Lucas, not only was he overloaded, he was casting vibes like an emotional train wreck."Let's just get this the hell over with," Lucas replied shortly, sitting in one of Wendy's armchairs, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Wendy had seen this position enough to know it was Lucas' defensive posture, only used when he was angry or upset.
Wendy tried to stay patient as she flipped through Lucas' personal files. Though she had seen them before, she was now finding many things that she wanted to discuss with the teenager. "What was it like when your parents split up?" she asked, remembering something Lucas had told her about "when it comes to denial, my mother is the riverboat queen."
Lucas shrugged. "Like it always is when parents split up," he responded dully. "Lots of yelling, paperwork, whatever." Hiding Wendy raised an eyebrow, knowing Lucas hadn't said hiding out loud, but had thought about it hard enough to alert Wendy.
"What were you hiding from?" she asked, probing a bit deeper. She knew she should ask Lucas' permission first, but she knew as well as anybody that Lucas tended to tell only half-truths when it came to his past. "Did your parents ever hit you?" She added quickly, as she came across one of Lucas' memories... It didn't point directly at abuse, but there were many memories of hospitals floating around in Lucas' mind.
"No," Lucas replied directly, looking her in the eye to prove he was telling the truth. "And I never hid from anything." He gave her a look that clearly said Stay out of my head.
Wendy consulted Lucas' chart again, and saw something she hadn't picked up on before. "Lucas, are you still on anti-depressants?" she asked, slightly confused. From the chart it seemed as though the prescription had been started several years ago, and re-filled only twice during that time.
Lucas' head shot up, eyes wide and frightened. Not since I tried to kill myself with them... were his unspoken words, thought so clearly and loudly that Wendy had to sit back in her chair and take some deep breaths to calm herself. "Lucas..." she said carefully, forming her words in her head before saying them. "How-why did you try to kill yourself?" she finally asked. Lucas stared past her, at the painting on the wall behind her. He was absently rubbing his wrists and chewing on his lower lip, mannerisms Wendy had never seen in the teen before. "Lucas?" she prompted.
"You wouldn't understand," Lucas replied dully, still not looking at her.
"Try me."
Lucas took a deep breath. It was quite clear he was not going to get out of this without tell Wendy at least part of the story. That was the problem with having a psychic as a chief medical officer - nothing important could be kept from her. "They told me I was better off dead," he said, finally. "And I believed them."
"Who told you that?" Wendy asked, very interested in this sudden turn of events. She had a feeling she knew the answer, but she decided it was best to let Lucas tell the story without her interupting too much.
"Who do you think?" Lucas snapped. "Sorry," he said, a little softer. "I was never good enough for them. No matter what I did. I hacked into secure systems for them, I went to college and got the highest GPA in history for them... I starved myself for them. But no, everything I did was wrong." Wendy glanced at the file in front of her, not sure of what she was looking for. "If you're looking for the hospital report in there, you're not going to find it. My parents paid big money to keep the whole thing a secret," Lucas told her. "After I was admitted for malnutrition..."
Wendy cut him off. "Anorexia?" she mused, more to herself than to Lucas. It certainly wasn't something she would have worried about in the teen.
"Whatever," Lucas said, trying hard to keep his tone light, as though he was talking about a complete stranger. "They made it perfectly clear they were not pleased with me. Told me if I was so intent on destroying myself I should just get it over with quickly."
Lucas fell silent and stared at the floor for a long while. Wendy took this to mean Lucas was done talking - for the moment. "Lucas?" she asked gently. "Lucas, listen to me." Lucas looked up at her, his eyes brimming with well-controled tears. "What they did to you... it wasn't your fault. You were sick, and they had no right to hold that against you. You understand?"
Lucas nodded, still absolutely miserable. Up until now, he had been doing so well. Now this admission of carefully-hidden facts were pushing him to the edge of what he could handle healthily. Wendy sighed sadly, and before she realized what she was doing, she had Lucas in a tight embrace. She could feel his tears soaking through her lab coat, and simply held him while his slim body was wracked with sobs. "It'll be okay," she assured him. "We'll get through this, sweetie. I promise."